


stars, hide your fires

by athanasynt



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga), The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: ??? why is that a tag, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Angst and Feels, Character Analysis, Character Study, Cis Elias Bouchard, Crack Crossover, Crossover, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Hurt No Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I guess its crack to a degree, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Light Angst, Might be OOC, Original Statement (The Magnus Archives), Quote: Statement Begins (The Magnus Archives), Ryuk is a Little Shit (Death Note), Ryuk is a Troll (Death Note), Statement Fic (The Magnus Archives), Yagami Light is Kira, but hes unimportant, crossover statement!!!!, fair enough, in a sense?, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:48:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27736393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/athanasynt/pseuds/athanasynt
Summary: What ifYou wanted to be the god of the new worldBut Elias Bouchard said: “Statement of Light Yagami, regarding the supernatural murders of Kira. Statement never given.”
Comments: 3
Kudos: 23





	stars, hide your fires

**Author's Note:**

> pealie dont read this if you havent checked out the magnus archives yet >:(((  
> \---  
> Set before Light meets L but after L removes the cameras from his house

He does not look behind him, but after walking no more than two steps out his front door, Light Yagami is aware that he is being watched. He keeps on walking. His steps do not falter and his expression remains unchanged. But he is keenly aware of how his heart skips a beat, how his blinks linger longer than usual —So he smooths over those mistakes with two more evenly paced steps, then proceeds to walk down the street.

He thinks, for a moment, that he can almost get used to constant surveillance with how much of it he’s had to deal with recently. The FBI agent, the cameras, all courtesy of his cat and mouse game with L. He is then hit with the delayed realisation that he shouldn’t have known he was being stalked. He pauses for a tenth of a second. His perfectly calculated pace is interrupted by a shiver down his spine. There was no reason for his suspicions besides the mere feeling of a gaze behind his back that wasn’t from Ryuk. 

Said shinigami was laughing- Well no, his mouth is in the shape of a grin and his skeletal features have contorted into one of glee, but shinigami are not human; Shinigami do not laugh as humans do, Light reminds himself, they are not human, never will be. It is easy to forget sometimes, (Light himself has not been human for quite some time) but the scent of death does not fade, and he has simply accustomed himself to it.

Light has contingency plans for his contingency plans. He tells himself this in his head over and over again in the same reassuring tone of voice he uses for his honeyed lies. He turns around a corner.

And then, there is silence. No, there’s static. Or maybe it’s just the footsteps. 

He turns around and sees a man who Light is  _ certain  _ only has two eyes. 

“Light Yagami, I presume?” The foreigner says in fluent Japanese, “Or do you prefer to go by the name  _ Kira  _ these days?” He says the word ‘Kira’ with a sneer, and Light feels a sense of dread only heightened by the now silent shinigami giving him an almost pitying look. 

Despite becoming hyperaware of his own blinking all of a sudden, Light smoothly transitions into giving the man an appropriate reaction. Somehow, something still feels off. He’s never felt so hyperaware of everything before, and it almost makes him hesitate when he replies, “I’m sorry, do I know you?”

“Oh, you Know nothing, Light Yagami.  _ Kira _ .” There is a ravenous look in the man’s eyes, reflecting off Light’s own, “Would you like to Know? Know how it feels to realise that you are going to die, to feel your body and brain shut down, to feel helpless in the face of the coming end that waits for all and cannot be ignored — I can make you Know. I can show you the truth of what your  _ justice  _ actually is.”

  
There it is, the hook, line, and sinker. For once in his life, Light has no idea how to proceed. There’s no evidence against him, but there is a nagging thought at the back of his mind that yells danger. That, and also the mortifying ordeal of being Known.

Everyone is looking at him right now, so he can’t run away, he can’t attack the man in broad daylight and he can’t even form a single word in his current state of terror. And worst of all, he doesn’t know the man’s name. He can list out deductions of who the man is and where he is from, and indeed his mind is whirring with thoughts, but there is nothing that can filter out the primal, human fear of a mask being stripped away from nothing but a gaze. And he must continue being perfect in the eyes of all. He must.    
  


“I… I don’t...” At a loss for words, he feels his nails grit into his palm and takes solace in feeling something other than the heat from the stares he is getting, “...Excuse me, who are you?”

The man leans in close and Light can do nothing but stare at his eyes.

In English, the man says, “Oh, wouldn’t you like to know. Planning on writing my name in the  _ Leitner  _ you call a Death Note?” He smiles with the satisfaction of getting a well-cooked meal. 

Light’s mask falls apart piece by piece as the words sink into his head like fangs.

“It’s really ingenious how you managed to hide it in your drawer with a fake. You even made a self-destruct system. What was it that you said again? ‘Would I prefer to be executed or deal with a little house fire?’ Tsk, I almost pity the Desolation, they almost had an avatar with brains for once.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Light blurts out and regrets immediately. Why can’t he move? He just needs one second, just one moment to think, but they won’t stop looking at him. Why is this happening to him?

“Right. That’s what irks me, Light Yagami. I’d almost be impressed with your whole Kira shtick if you were actually an avatar, but you’re just a human with a god complex. You know, we’re not so different. I too wish to become a king of a ruined world. But that’s why I have to stop you right here, Kira. That’s why I have to make you See just how little you Know about what you’ve been dealing with.”

Even before he continues, Light knows that he Knows Light knows about him Knowing, and he suffocates under the Eye as the being in front of him monologues, “Nothing to say? That’s fine. Most people don’t have anything to say either. So let me tell you what’s going to happen to your little game now. I’m going to make a statement. Kira’s statement. And you’re going to stay right here and listen to it. You’ll listen, alright. Hopefully, we’ll be the only ones to archive your confession. And afterwards…. Well, you’re a smart boy. I’m sure you’ll figure it out.” 

“No,” Light Yagami says weakly to himself, “This isn’t… This isn’t possible.” He takes a shaky breath drowned out by the simultaneous sounds of his thumping heartbeat and the sound of a tape recorder turning on. “I’m not Kira,” he says to no one, trying to convince an imaginary audience. It comes off as a whimper.

“Statement of Light Yagami, regarding the supernatural murders of Kira. Statement never given.”

“Stop. Please. Go away. I’ll do anything, please stop doing this-”

The statement begins. “This world is rotten,” It echoes, “This world is rotten, and those who are making it rot deserve to die. There are too many rotten people in the world — And Kira has to kill them all. Kira is to be the god of the new world, a reformed world, a world built in his judgement. Kira is law. Kira is justice. Kira is me.”

“SHUT UP,” cracks Light, “RYUK, I WANT THE FUCKING EYE DEAL, PLEASE MAKE HIM SHUT UP-”

“When I found the Death Note, I knew I was going to be the one who would fix the world. No, I was the only one who could. I was the only one who was willing to. I was the only one who was bored enough to do it. It seemed like it was destiny when I saw it out of the corner of my eye during class that day. I was the only one who saw it and the only one to pick it up. It may not have called to me just then, but I took it as the signal that my life was about to become much more interesting.”

Ryuk begins to laugh; It is utterly silent.

“I didn’t believe it at first. A notebook that lets you kill people by writing their name? I’ve always been a very logical person and I’ve never believed in anything supernatural or magical. But when I saw the news of a hostage situation, it made me desperate. If I wrote it and nothing happened, well, then I’d just get on with my day. But if it did work… Then I’d finally be able to change this rotten world. And it worked. Kurou Otoharada. Dropped dead of a heart attack. And it was all because of me.”

“I’m not a murderer,” Light cries, “I’m not.” 

He’s kneeling down from the nausea. 

“I knew then that I was going to test it again. Seeing the criminal drop dead on the news — It was simply thrilling to have such power. I needed to make sure it wasn’t a fluke. So I did it again. I wrote a cause of death this time, and I watched through the window as the truck collided with Takuo Shibimaru. I never saw his corpse; I was too busy running away. 

Was it the right thing to do? To have chosen to kill him rather than report him to the authorities, or even stop him myself? It didn’t feel right back then. But I wasn’t wrong — The Death Note could be used to change the world, and who else could have done it but me? I was the only one capable of being Kira. I was the only one who was worthy of the Death Note. I had to do it.

I told myself I had to do it.

There’s something about the Death Note that makes people want to try it at least once. Or twice. Or  _ approximately two hundred and twenty-three times _ . And I have to keep on going. The shinigami told me that I was the first person ever to have written down so many names. I think it’s because… I can’t afford to be a person anymore. I’m Kira, and I always will be.

If Kira gets caught, he is evil. If Kira rules the world, he is justice. I understood that killing people was a crime. But those who are standing in the way of the creation of Kira’s new world need to be stopped. L? Those FBI agents? Naomi Misora? They just had to be taken out of my way. They just  _ had  _ to get their names written down. 

Kira is the judge, the jury and the executioner. But Kira still needs to become the law.

I cannot stop until the world is remade. This power is mine, and it belongs to me. I am the to-be god of the new world, where crime is nonexistent and people who deserve to live can live in peace. I will not rest until the world is barren of rot. I will not be resting for a long time. And that’s fine — Kira shouldn’t need to rest. After all, he is a god.

A god is nothing to a nonbeliever, so all the nonbelievers must die.

If Light Yagami gets swept up in Kira’s hurricane, well, then, he’ll just be the first person Kira’s killed without the use of the Death Note. I never understood the quote, “If I’ve killed one man, i’ve killed two.” But now, I think I do.

I’ve already burned down bridges for the Death Note. I’ll burn even more until I raze the world to the ground and, from the ashes of the old world, watch a new one arise. If nothing can grow from scorched earth, well, there's a reason I ended up fighting fire with fire.

So that’s right.

I am Kira. 

And what can you do?”

The silence afterwards speaks louder than any words do. Light Yagami is shell-shocked, hyperventilating, and he is the physical embodiment of a mirror cracking into shards of fine glass. He shatters. He takes a deep breath.

“ _ I’ll be watching you _ ,” The man says with unrestrained glee — He was the worst grin that makes his eyes  _ crinkle _ — and turns away.

He’s gone. He’s still watching.

_ Thump. Thump. Thump. Thu- _

“Hyuk, the Ceaseless Watcher’s even more of a buzzkill than I remember. Hey Lighto, are we still going to get apples?” says Ryuk, and everything fades to black.

_ —— _

_ Stars hide your fires;  _

_ let not light see my black and deep desires:  _

_ The eyes wink at the hand; yet let that be  _

_ which the eye fears, when it is done, to see _

**Author's Note:**

> god im just glad to have finished this i spent way too long on this  
> im not really that proud of this but ehhhh, i feel like i couldve done better


End file.
